Incognito

For a whole host of reasons  I felt like going to Shabbat services  while I was on vacation. Part of me wanted to go, part of me needed to go.   I was hoping to surprise a long time classmate and friend.   So we went.   Beautiful campus, lovely building, nice crowd.  My classmate was on retreat with his staff.  The  Cantor lead the service.   The service started with a beautiful niggun,  a wordless melody.   Just what I needed.   A great exhale. I felt that sense of calm I so needed.   Doesn't matter where we are,  it's good to be part of a community.   Like I do at every service,  the cantor asked after lighting candles that we turn to the people around us and wish them a Shabbat shalom and introduce ourselves.   And so I did.  Not as a Rabbi but as Steven, a "jew in the pew".  It's so rare to be incognito.   Where no one knows who you are.   As I turned around to wish the family behind me a shabbbat shalom I saw it with my own eyes.  A father and two sons with prayer books perfectly balanced on their laps with their phones hidden inside.    My eyes caught the oldest son.   "Shabbat shalom" I said....."Kansas is winning  by 11" he said:  "I'm rooting for Michigan" I responded.  We smiled.   The service continued.     The service was beautiful.    A congregation that actually sang and participated.   The chapel was filled with holy music.  The family with Iphones sang every prayer, knew every melody.  Was this young man Elijah there on a mission ? How many 16 year olds do we get at services?   Why were their phones on?   The reality is that I see people check phones all the time during our services. Do people not realize how obvious it is?

I remember long before streaming games on smartphones when  the Chicago Bulls  made their run for 6 titles, the Senior rabbi who hired me, worked out a system with the ushers and security that they would give him updates from their transistor radio between quarters of the bulls playoffs games and then we would signal our friends who wanted  updates.  3rd quarter Bulls up by 4 entirely in hand motions.

As we paused for silent prayer I felt a tap on my shoulder.   "Game tied.....overtime."

I was just where I needed to be.   By the sermon slot Michigan had won.

I'm glad I turned off my phone at the start of the service because when I got to the parking lot, my phone was filled with emails, texts and calls  about a truly unbelievable moment of divine intervention.      I chuckled as I glanced at the words written on the service supplement handed out with the prayer books   " Surely God is in this place and I didnt know it." Followed by.  Please turn off your cell phones and pagers:

Sometimes it really fun to be incognito, just another "jew in the pew". Where no one knows who you are.

Remember:  Pray as if everything depends on God. Act as if everything depends on you.

March Madness

March Madness

I love College basketball.    To me it is the best that sports has to offer. 64...oops 68 teams One Big Dance. I still cry when I hear the lyrics to the NCAA basketball anthem from 2004. One Shining Moment......

The time is short
and the road is long
in the blinking of an eye
ah that moment's gone
And when it's done
win or lose
you always did your best
cuz inside you knew... (that) ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU REACHED DEEP INSIDE
ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE.


No one personifies college basketball like John Wooden The Wizard of Westwood.  7 NCAA championships in a row!!!!  11 in 12 years.  Absolutely unequaled.   Never to be accomplished again.
The coach had it all and motivated his players like no one else with short pithy statements.     One of my favorites given to him by his father upon his graduation from school is his 7 point creed...

1. Be true to yourself.
2. Make each day your masterpiece.
3. Help others.
4. Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.
5. Make friendship a fine art.
6. Build a shelter against a rainy day.
7. Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day.

 His players lived by his words......

On March 1st 1995 I handed in my Rabbinic Thesis and my advisor Dr. Jacob Rader Marcus the Dean of American Jewish history and the John Wooden of Judaism handed me a note that said: A philosophy for survival as you see it. It was his 5 point creed that would help me survive as a Rabbi. I’ve carried this note around with me ever since...



1. Help where ever you can
2. Listen Sympathetically
3. Never “fight”
4. Tell them to observe what they can
5. Explain Jewry is security in an ever larger world.





For the past 18 years I’ve tried to live by The Doctor's words......

Take a moment to think about whose words have influenced you? Whose words have motivated you to dig deep inside of yourself to find that ONE SHINING MOMENT, YOU KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE.

My Bracket is complete   I've already won...... It doesn't matter what team wins on April 8th.  

My two good friends both had their moms die within a week of each other this past fall.   They started to come to say kaddish during Shiva and Shloshim at our almost daily minyan.   They found comfort by walking this path together.      Often times it was just the three of us saying kaddish, remembering two really special ladies. Lillian the Good and Roberta the Inquisitive.    They came daily for the first few weeks, then weekly and and now the three of us get to together once a quarter to remember not just their moms,   but my mom too.  This morning instead of coming to the Temple we strapped on our snow shoes and went out in the lagoons on a glorious Wednesday morning.    We walked and talked, reflecting on the love that these strong woman shared in our lives. We stopped to say the Kaddish prayer as we talked about their love and their legacy.    My Mom would be 77 next week.     She died 10 years ago,  but today,  on this snowy morning more than ever,   she was alive and present in my mind and in my heart as were my friends mom's.  As we walked back to the car after saying our prayers,  I kept thinking about a poem i've used before at funerals but now understood it better than ever before.

Life After Death

~ Laura Gilpin

These things I know:

                How the living go on living

And how the dead go on living with them

So that in a forest

                Even a dead tree casts a shadow

                And the leaves fall one by one

And the branches break in the wind

And the bark peels off slowly

And the trunk cracks

                And the rain seeps in through the cracks

And the trunk falls to the ground

And the moss covers it

                And in the spring the rabbits find it

And build their nest

Inside the dead tree

So that nothing is wasted in nature

                                                                                                    Or in love.

 Marcia, Lillian and Roberta....Your boys are doing just fine.  

Look who's blogging now

Welcome to my new blog.
Hoping to share my thoughts here.